I’m going to ask you all something, and I’m looking for an honest discussion because I never thought this might be “a thing” to worry about before yesterday. Here’s what I want to know…

Is it against some sort of unspoken rule to drop a poop bag into someone’s trash can when you walk by?

I was out taking Trixie for a mile-long walk around our neighborhood.

She pooped. Good girl, Trixie.

I picked up her poop in a poop baggie like I always do. Good boy, me.

I carried that poop baggy with me a good two blocks before I found a trash can out on the curb to toss it inside of.

I threw it in the trash can.

And… Before I could be on my merry way, the front door of the house opened, and an absolutely irate woman (whom I have never seen), about my same age, began screaming at me.

“What the heck do you think you’re doing!? That’s not your trash can,” she said, with half her body still behind the door.

Trixie jumped back. It scared the bejeezus out of her.

I jumped back. It scared the bejeezus out of me.

“Oh, ummm, I’m sorry,” I said. “It looked like your trash was already out and that…”

She cut me off. “Get your dog poop OUT OF MY GARBAGE CAN!”

I fought the urge to say something demeaning back.

I fought the urge to give her a dirty look.

I fought the urge to just walk away without saying anything.

But the look on her face was one of life or death, and murder was on the menu if I didn’t remove the poop bag. Of that, I was certain.

I took a few steps back and grabbed the bag. She glared me down as I did. “I’ll take care of it,” I said. I honestly felt so small in that moment.

She didn’t say anything else, but disappeared inside and slammed her door instead.

I fought the urge to fling the poo from the bag onto her neatly manicured front lawn.

I fought the urge to flip her off, since I’m sure she was watching me through a window or peephole.

I fought the urge to stick the bag of poop back in her trash can.

I fought the urge to go knock on her door and say what, I wasn’t sure, but I wanted to say something.

“Heel,” I told Trixie, and instead of doing anything at all, we went about our way… Poop bag in hand.

That’s it. That’s the whole story. And with that, I ask again: is it against some sort of unspoken rule to drop a poop bag into someone’s trash can when you walk by?

This neighbor’s trash was just out, sitting there on the curb, heaping full, ready to be hauled away on trash day today.

Her trash can was full of dirty, gross, disgusting garbage, I’m sure.

The poop was contained in a tied plastic bag, where it wouldn’t stink up her cans or get on anything.

It makes no sense to me at all why anyone would have a problem with poop bags, or any other garbage, being put into their garbage cans once they have been set out.

If my cans are out on the curb, my neighbors are more than welcome to drop their poop bags inside. Hell, I’m just happy they’re picking up after their pets!

If I put my trash cans out and they have room inside to spare, my neighbors are welcome to come drop an extra bag or two of trash inside them if their own cans are overfilled that week.

Neighbors… As long as you’re not dumping a dead body, or anthrax, or sewage inside, please… Use my trash cans. Mis botes de basura son su botes de basura. My trash cans are your trash cans.

If you see me watching you out the window when you drop your poop bags inside, don’t panic like you’ve just been caught doing a neighborly no-no. Wave at me, instead. I’m not quite to the age of codger yet, so I’ll wave back.

Dan Pearce | Dan Pearce Was Here

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