While we were driving, something led Noah’s and my conversation to all the different dinosaurs we liked the most, which ones we thought would dominate should they actually battle, which ones we’d like to see in real life, and which ones were absolutely the most absurd.

We have a lot of weird conversations. This one was no different. “If you could make any dinosaur in the world, what would it look like?” I asked him.

“It’d be able to jump really far like a kangaroo, stand on two legs like a T-Rex, but about half the size,” he started out saying. “It’d be as fast and as smart as a raptor, but bigger and stronger. It would be dark blue, and have giant eyes, and no other dinosaur would ever mess with it.”

I nodded my head. A blue badass jumping dinosaur. Yeah. That’d be pretty damn awesome. “A dinosaur like this needs a really good name,” I told him. “What would you call this ferocious lizard of yours?”

He gave it honest thought, and finally said, with every bit of sincerity… “I’m going to call it… Yeah… A vaginasaur. That sounds pretty tough.”

As chance obviously would have it, I was taking a pull from my water bottle when he said it. I immediately choked and spat my water out all over the console. No joke.

Once I stopped choking, I started laughing. Noah just looked at me with confusion. “What?” he said.

“You’re going to name your dinosaur what?”


“A what?” I said again, still laughing.

He gruffed. “What’s so funny about that, Dad?”

“What are you going to call it?” I wanted him to hear it for himself. It thought it would be funnier.

“A vaginasa… [long pause] Oh. DAAAAAAAAD!!! YOU’RE TERRIBLE! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?”

I slapped his knee as he also started laughing alongside me. “Hey, you’re the one who said it, pal.” I told him.

Dan Pearce | Dan Pearce Was Here

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